Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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