So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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