i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
someone owes me an orgasm
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
