Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
