similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
