i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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