I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
