Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
