How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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