We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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