I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My dick has a subreddit
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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