fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize