Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
