Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
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Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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