If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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