his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
