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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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