remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
