Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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