Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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