I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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