I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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