If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
