where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
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nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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