I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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