D3 body, D1 cock
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My vagina just clenched in fear
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
