Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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