On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
