Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
