I'm really into asian looking animals
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
