my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
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You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
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Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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