Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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