does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
