where does the pee come out of this thing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
