im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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