Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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