yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
is that a dick in a sweater?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
