And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
