i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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