She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize