I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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