was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
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Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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