I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
