Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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