he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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