I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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