If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
