Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
