I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
