Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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