i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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