with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
