two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
