She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
