I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
