my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
