I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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