I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
