Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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